Love, Justice, Balance and Forgiveness!

Posted on July 11, 2016
Location: London
Love, Justice, Balance and Forgiveness!

A little boy goes to his dad and asks: What is politics?  Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense. So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."  The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."  The little boy replies,  "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

A little boy grows up, goes to his dad and asks:  What is BUSINESS Dad?

Dad                  :  I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son                  :  No
Dad                  :  The girl is Bill Gate's daughter.
Son                  :  Then it is Ok.

Dad goes o Bill Gates.

Dad                  :  I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates        :  No
Dad                  :  My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates        :  Than it is ok

Dad goes 2 the President of the World Bank.

Dad                 :  Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank.
President       :  No
Dad                 :  He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President       :  Then it is OK

That's business; the Dad said!

Infidelity is becoming a customary reality right now…in politics, in business, in partnership, in marriage, in friendship…in any sort of relationship to that matter…whether business or personal. Temptation is everywhere. Quick fixes / short-cuts seduce us with their false warranties. Everyone knows, they still do and no one judges anymore. Whoever questions; is labelled as orthodox, out-dated, out-of-order and also out-of-fashion. I suppose few can still judge because although there is so much of it and there are also little bit of opposite, which keep up the balance & also keep our hopes alive.

Some example of this little percentage of opposite types is my own parents. Today is an important day for us. This day; 41 years ago; my parents got married and some 18 months later, their elder child came into this world.  Amazing journey, hey? 41 years of togetherness and still counting. What shall I say about my parents? They are my creator and there is so much to learn from them...their hard work, their dedication, their sacrifices, their honesty, their helpful nature to others, their public work.  There was not a single allegation or even gossip about my Dad in his entire professional career. Spotless!!!  My mother spent most of her time (even her younger days) in performing spiritual activities…non-stop and everyday. She never took any interest in dressing up, buying jewelleries, showing-off like others do; neither now nor in her young days. I have not seen many people around, spending their own hard-earned money, so easily, so happily for the betterment of others. My parents never interfered in my life…what I study…which company I work…where I live etc. Never, I don’t remember a single instance when they did that or even were keen to do that. There is so much to learn from them.  And most important of them all is: they never give up, how much of odds are up against them.

They help people unconditionally but when same people cause them pain; they get affected…they become sad, they keep thinking about it and talking about it, within their own home but never confront them whoever has caused pain to them. They are harmless to others but people keep bringing harm to them. That is the only thing we had disagreed. I spent many years trying to change their attitude towards external complexity/negativity/jealousy. I personally deal with these things differently. I do not pay any attention. I have no time for negativity whatsoever. I run-away from people who are negative or hot-blooded for that matter. I think/talk/eat/sleep positivity only. I am a certified life coach. That’s what I am appreciated for each and every day in my friend circle & professional circle.  

I keep telling them; we are what we are today because of sheer hardwork, honesty & helpfulness, nothing else. Is there anyone on this whole earth surface who can challenge that?  If there is anyone: ask them to come and deal from the front. If not; how do they matter? Let them be in the place, where they belong, in their little dungeon from where they are operating. We  shall deal with only those, which are approaching us from the front.  Rest all; don’t mind; doesn’t matter. They agree but I know they still indulge.  I think this is called  “Attachment”  , because it involves friends and families; which is what lord Krishna appealed us to avoid, for attaining peace in life.

I left India when I was 24 or so. And since then I have been living abroad. I lived & worked in four different continents. I am citizen of three different countries. All these worldly experiences bring a different outlook and it has to be different from people who lived in India only, such as my parents. As a result of which; I deal things little differently than my parents. I can’t say mine is better but it is certainly little different.

There was another thing I had disagreement with my parents; but I have rectified myself; with time…rather with the age. I had questioned always my parent’s selection of dignified silence. I confronted them why they didn’t stop me, if they knew it is going to save me from experiencing all those hassles; by me not doing certain things. My Dad’s composed answer used to be “You didn’t ask me” !!! Well; I know what he meant by that…he wanted me to try things and be responsible for my own actions and destiny. Fair deal. I expected them to be more vocal and clarify things when in a questionable situation. I was young and immature. But today; I think I was wrong. One requires a lot of patience and courage to maintain silence…to not to indulge in conflict. Shahrukh Khan said recently in a press conference …”People talk behind your back…make sure you give them some interesting topics”. How many clarifications can we do? We are very capable of spending all our life clarifying to other people’s complexity/jealousy/doubt/assumption/made-up rumours etc. Is this why we have come to this world i.e. for attending to the negativities of others or we are here to bring out positivity in others? If people are complex, jealous and harmful in mind; it is their battle, not ours. They have to get rid these bad qualities to remain peaceful. We can remind them if needed but certainly can not be responsible for their behaviour or act. I am proud that my parents are non-violent. They deal with the pain caused to them internally but never exhibit it violently towards others. I want them ignore things and not take them into heart or get affected emotionally.   

I wish; I had a similar appealing/vocal relationship with my parents as I share with Rishi today.  I grew up in a very strict and humble environment. That was expected. I am talking about a time we lived some 20-30 years ago, which is totally different from the present period. Most parents in India those days were strict and kids were expected to respect their parents only, not befriend with them.  Kids and parents were not supposed to exchange “I love you” 100 times; as Rishi and I exchange in a day.  But hey; that is not their fault. That was a different time, age, generation. That’s how most of the parents in the society brought up their children. And we listened to our parents & obliged to everything possible, including to marry someone unknow, whom we never knew before. I would not have been able to compare these parenting skills; should I not have lived abroad for 20 years and seen things differently here in the western countries.  If that is the case, how it is my parent’s fault?  It is not their fault. Understand there was a little lack of vision but can we single them out? Perhaps NOT!!! Most of the parents were like that, at that time.      

But I must admit; it brings such a confidence in kids to see/hear those reassurances from their parents that they love him/her and he/she is the best in the world. That confidence paves way for such a solid foundation.  I have not heard an honest “I love you” from anyone before Rishi or anyone other than him, in my entire life.  Parents were strict and Grand-father could have, he was capable of, was educated enough but I guess it was not customary then. And also; I lived away from home, from a very early age for my education and then for the job. So understandably; we all missed opportunities and it was not in my destiny therefore. Before we realized the need; it is too late and bit awkward now.

It reminds me of an occasion; when I went with my grand-father to listen to a prabachan/speech of a spiritual guru in our home town. I must have been in standard 8th or so then. The Guru was explaining:  “Once lord Krishna was asked: whether he thought the role of Yashoda (the foster mother) is more important than Devaki (mother who have birth to him) in life. And apparently; lord Krishna explained…the role of Yashoda was more important”.  I don’t remember the logic behind that anymore. We have to dig deep and take help of sister Google for that.  I can imagine why that may have been the ideal answer.  We take after someone, who we spent most time with and lord Krishna spent his entire childhood/youth with Yashoda, until he left for Hastinapur to take over the kingdom. Yashoda may have also said “I love you son” to lord Krishna, 1000 times a day or more.  So there was a lot of contribution from Yashoda which formatted lord Krishna to be a person of his calibre, in his human form. Krishna’s relationship with his adopted mother, Yashoda, is a shining example of the ideal love that should exist between a mother and her child. Krishna’s pranks frustrated Yashoda incessantly, but they also enchanted her. Yashoda’s reprimands were stern, but Krishna found them to be music to his ears. Because at the end of the day, Krishna always found himself wrapped securely in his mother’s arms as she sang to him and rocked him to sleep.  It is important therefore to be careful; who we spend time with.  If we spend time with whom we respect; we will learn something good from them. If we compromise; we become someone which we can't recognize. 

All right friends; I get carried away with such topics. I am a life-coach after all. Today…on this auspicious day…I want to make a small promise to myself. I shall make my parents feel good… equally as I am responsible for making Rishi feel good. I want to be the best son, unconditionally. I know I already do that to great extent but I want to carry out even better than before. There is always scope for improvement in everything we do. Life can be uncertain at time…I don’t want to miss these opportunities. I am not here to judge how they could have done better with their parenting skills; rather I shall say  “Thank you, for everything you have done for me”  and  “You are the best in the world and there is no one better than you”  and   like I say to Rishi always;  “Any odds thrown at you; have to deal with me first before it reaches you.”  But that does not mean that I shall change my way of dealing things to match theirs. No. I am very convinced with mine. It’s not going to change.  On the same token; I shall not suggest them to change theirs either.   Everyone is different and we all deal things differently. We have the best parents in the world. That's what really matters.

Forgiveness is equally important for our own sanity and tranquillity.  We must always forgive all, even to enemies. That is the only way to find freedom. We consider someone as an enemy when it is not practically possible to maintain friendship anymore. Is there any relationship type between “Animosity” and “Friendship”? There are NO 50 shades of grey really; in real life. Either black or white it is. Same thing confuses me; when someone answers “I am OK” to our question “How are you?”. We heard about being in a god state or bad state. What does it feel to be in an OK state? Like lord Krishna had forgiven his cousin Shishupal for 100 times, before punishing him; we should allow forgiveness at least three times depending on the circumstances, by properly explaining the offence, and requesting them not to repeat them again. And if they continue to cause pain and harm to us; we must close the relationship forever. Is it possible or is it wise to take one more chance (4th one?) and forgive again if failed? Nope; it is not a non-ending process. They need to be closed / sealed forever; as by that time, there would be no trust left. There is no limit to the number of times we can allow forgiveness. We must forgive all and forget always. However there should be a limit as to how many times we must trust someone, in spite of their continual dishonesty and deceitful behaviour. It sould be maximum three times, not more than that. Forgiving to someone does not mean; that we can trust the person and life will be normal once again. It is possible to forgive and trust at the same time; when there are still some hopes left. When there is no hope left whatsoever; then in that case we forgive the person but do not trust them again. It’s as if saying: “Thank you for the non-stop pain/hurt you have caused to my life; I have forgiven you but not allowing you to do the same to me again. We wish you all the best and there is the door". 

They say; three words “Love”, “Justice” and “Balance” are practically syn­onymous with a Libra sun sign. Libra invented Love, and refined it to an art with even more finesse.  I can imagine it for the words “Justice” and “Balance”. Even my young Libran cub (Rishi) shows this character very often using the line “It’s not fair”. When someone says it is unfair; that means they know what is fair. At least he is not throwing his tantrum; he never did ever since he was born. He is merely saying it is unfair on him. He is an angel.  And when we adapt fairness in our action/communication; justice will be prevailed. How all connected? Isn’t it? Wonderful!!! But I am unsure of the word “Love”. Really?  Mahadev is smiling from upstairs. He is saying something, which I can hear. Are you? I keep telling this to my parents at times…you spend so much time on spirituality/divine activities because you believe in God. Don’t you? And when you really believe in God; do you really have to worry about the outcomes? We only continue to do what is good…which our heart approves. Rest all will be taken carel. Trust me…Automatically.  So it is not the word “Love” or “God” alone that matters; but an addition of “Real” before them makes them far more special.  We shall continue to search for Special/Real experience. Shall we? Because everything else; doesn’t matter; don’t mind.

Kehtein hein; Kuch logoan ke sath sirf waqt bita ne se, saab kuch sahi ho jata hey. Woh waqt kitna hi kaam na ho. Kuch chand lamhe (mins/secs)…zindegi bhaar keliye yaadgaar benke reh jati hey. Hey koi aisa lamha/log, jo hein yaadgaar, hamari zindegi mein? Chalo Phir...wishing you all a Shaandaar week ahead. Love you all. And Many Happy Returns of this day; to my parents. smileyheartyes

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