I gave a moving performance in singing today

Santa: I gave a moving performance in singing today.
Banta: What do you mean by moving performance?
Santa: Everyone moved out of theatre.

Santa sent SMS to his BOSS: “Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back: “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
Two hours later Santa sent a SMS to his boss: “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

Santa: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Santa: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'This is All India Radio!

At an accident scene, a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man lying there. He has lost his head. Is he crying?