Equality...The Time is Now!

Amazing times ahead. THE WORLD is on the verge of being ruled by a women force once again after many decades, as Hillary Clinton fights to join Theresa May and Angela Merkel as major leaders on the international stage.  Leading News Paper in the UK read; If Hillary Clinton wins the American presidential election in November, there will be women in charge of five of the leading countries and organisations in the world - the US, the UK, Germany, the IMF and the US Federal Reserve. That's three of the world's biggest economies and two of the most important financial institutions. There's also the reasonable possibility of a woman becoming the new UN Secretary General. What does it actually mean? What actually changes if women are in those top jobs? On one level it is huge. It's certainly unprecedented and a big crack in the glass ceiling. Half-a-century ago it would have been unimaginable to see so many women running the show. It is hard for one woman in one top job to bring about single handed that much needed change in tone. So this is a very welcome start but it doesn't alter everything. What these outlier senior women now need is an army of women to join the army of men under them. It's then that our world will really change. 

Now guess what; you will expect me to say; what I thought about such transformation. No? 

I AM CURIOUS. Yes I am just VERY VERY curious.  Every country I visited or lived in last 15-20 years; I tried to enquire the elderly people there; about how this issue was dealt with, some 50 years ago in their own country – how was it dealt in the UK, in the USA, in Australia or even in Middle-East…?. Yes; like many of us; I was also mistaken that it is only in the developing or under-developing countries only; women were treated badly or neglected for thousands of years as the history can go back to. But that’s not true. Some of my elderly colleagues/friends from the developed nations;  do advise that the situation was exactly like that; for their mothers/grand-mothers, 50 years ago; exactly how the situation exist today in the developing or under-developing countries Women mostly stayed at home and looked after their household and helped to raise their children. That is all. I think it started changing in late eighties or early nineties only in the western countries and after Y2K in India and rest of the developing countries. We are not far behind. But yes; we did have the awareness. Women liberalization movement started in India some 188 years ago in India, not now. And also we didn’t inherit this great ideology from the western world. Who knows if this good cause was transported back from India; to the rest of the world? Raja Ram Mohan Roy was the founder of the Brahmo Sabha movement in 1828, which engendered the Brahmo Samaj, an influential socio-religious reform movement. He is best known for his efforts to establish the abolishment of the practice of sati, the Hindu funeral practice in which the widow was compelled to sacrifice herself in her husband’s funeral pyre in some parts of Bengal. What is not so well known is that Roy protested against the East India Company's decision to support vernacular education and insisted that English replace Sanskrit and Persian in India. It was he who first introduced the word "Hinduism" into the English language in 1816. 

If we believe, as I firmly do, that we are all better off with more women in top positions in every area of life, then this is something to celebrate. A wealth of global studies now shows us that organisations perform better when there is a mix of men and women in charge. 

While it is a great cause and we expect the movement to reach its conclusive objective; there are few realities about it, we must appreciate…

1. Like our overgrown population; like our unwanted corruption; the conclusive objective of women liberalization movement may not arrive in this generation. As we can see the issue has lived approximately 5000+ years and rectification process started about 200+ years ago. It may take several generations for it to be rectified to a safe extent; if the consistent efforts were volunteered.

2. It is not the fault of male community of this generation that women have suffered 5000+ years. Nope. It is a social issue like corruption and population. So; men of this generation are expected to be cooperative and supportive towards this movement and changes. And they must as well. But they can’t be abused for something which had started 5000+ years ago and sustained through various political, biological and environmental changes. Not fair. This battle can be won; if both men and women fight together against the cause; not against each other.

3. Few things are down to our personal choices. Not all men are from Mars and all women are from Venus. There are exceptions and my god these are quite a lot in numbers. We are talking about 7.4 billions in total. A small percentage of it can be quite substantial. When I say personal choices – I refer to the fundamental choices we make naturally or a day to day basis. Whether black or white; whether boy or girl; whether simple or complex. We still have some parents in the society who treat their male children more importantly than their female children. These are done with such subtlety that they don’t stand out on their own but collectively these have such a huge impact on the society and mindset of people living in it. This is not obvious in households where they have only girls but in a household where they have both boys and girls; we can possibly find difference in treatment towards girls. Again; not all are like this. I have seen it personally and fought against it myself.

4. There is a lot of competition infused into our society at the moment to draw detestation between two most beautiful innovations of the God; Men and Women. Who created it – why was it created? Think carefully. There is someone/something/somewhere benefited because of this. They enjoy life by putting us into this trap and we suffer through this all our life and nothing changes. Imagine; they say a glass of wine is good for health. It is such an overrated advert that anyone who can afford are tricked to believe this advert. But is it really true? We do this, because others are doing this and it is a current trend to do this. We never validated the truth behind this statement; neither had we examined if there is any substitute available which is cheaper and tastier than the overrated wine. Did we? No – we never did.  Similarly; the infused hate in women’s mind today for men of the same generation; is nothing but an un-thoughtful and invalidated reality. It helps corporatism; it helps business growth. More difference the men and women will have; will have a positive impact on a legal industry, on food and beverages industry or even tobacco industry, on the fashion industry, on everything else. We talk about religion and religion playing a role in today’s corporatism through terrorism! And what about this? The division of human race by even broader categories; men and women. It’s huge and hence thoughtfully infused I believe by wicked minds. And we attempt to finish our entire life fighting this illusion. Just imagine.

5. Women liberalization is not about having liberty to be absolutely careless and irresponsible. We still new to follow social-law, universal law and law of the land, we are living in.  There are still some of males out there who come home drunk everyday; they have affairs outside home which they try to hide, they have freedom to do anything and everything they want but do not grant any freedom to their other-halves. They treat their other-halves as some kind of objects, who are there to look after the home and kids in an economical way. At the same time; there are females out there; who also do the exact same thing; have an affair outside and when questioned they safely blame their other-halves for displaying negativity towards their potential and growth; to prove them clean unethically. They hide their bad habits behind the greater shelter of women liberalization. These are deceitful act and are happening quite regularly where some of them are taking advantage of the situation. Having multiple affairs is a sign of prosperity these days and provides a false sense of “being-in-demand” to those who are involved. We expect others to be ethical and loyal in their dealings towards us but we should be able to deceive whenever/wherever it suits us and no one should be find out about our little mischief ever. Law of the Universe never changes; it has been there, where it was at the beginning; 3 billion years ago, when it all started. We do have to pay a price for doing things unethically and there is a prize indeed for doing things ethically every time. These are all decided by the universe, naturally, automatically. No once escapes from this universal law. Not even God/Goddess; themselves.   Women or Men liberalization does not come before this law but only after keeping up with it.  We are not talking about people who are yet to marry because it does not matter for them. But when two people decide to marry and have a family together; they choose to contribute some of their time and responsibility towards family. Family comes first before anything and everything. Neither the male nor female is responsible alone for the family; but both of them. So those choices need to be made before the final decision whether to marry at the first place or not. Decisions should not be made in Los Vegas or in a pub where two drunken people decided to spend life together (Joking. I am talking about the Hollywood movie “What happens in Vegas”). Although I am joking; quite a lot of the marriage decisions do take place like that, these days. If proper time was spent and honesty was exchanged before the marriage decision; there would not be any humiliation and need for such desperate isolation/freedom/separation at a later stage. Marriage is a known process; where two people mercifully choose to unite for life long. That’s the definition and everything else is influenced as usual. Like they say; a glass of wine a day is good for our health. They have also started saying that a few flings after marriage are also good for health/marital-life. Some of them are already bought over due to their existing weaker integrity. And for other; it’s a nuisance….

6. We are not honest in our approach to fight this social issue; not even women themselves. I have seen so many cases where couples fight like cats and dogs….horribly…in front of others! I feel very restless. I try to run away from such situations. I feel like telling them; grow up people - Please keep all these away from public. Deal all these at home within closed doors and if not possible go to the authorities for help. But kindly do not cause social pollution by exhibiting your fighting skills in public. I try to keep Rishi away from such situation and people. I will be finished otherwise; if he starts asking me questions “Why…Why Papa; Why? Few years ago; Bollywood actor Amir Khan was running a television program “Satyameva Jayate”, where each of his episodes was based on a social issue. One of the episodes was on this topic “Women liberalization”. It was discussed that majority of the related offences; are created in educated / well-to-do households.  That’s because we only point finger at others but we hide the issues at our own home. I have noticed some couples have so much of differences at home on this subject; that it is almost impossible for a collation between them going forward; but when they come out together in public; they say every nice things about each other and their relationship. That is short-termism; to achieve a false social status. And with short-termism; this process of women liberalization is only going to take longer and longer. The issue should be and must be dealt with head on and with honesty.
7. Lastly; We must consider biological differences as well. Women are more emotional naturally and they go through periodic fluctuations in their emotional life cycle as well. Likewise; men are more physical and that’s why they are suited for more laborious activities or outdoor activities. Men do also have more physical appetite than women – hence are often appear to advance first in a courtship or relationship.   So; it is clear – Women can never (exactly) be like Men and Men can never (exactly) be like Women. They are support to complement each other for a greater cause, not fight each other to prove who is better. My point here is very simple: we must grow wiser and play our trumpets to our strengths; intellectually – not emotionally. 

So my thoughts about Women liberalization are simple. There is a need for it and it is highly essential right now. But it is impossible to achieve without men and women joining hands together for this social cause. I am not saying women are less capable and can not do it alone but “why divide” is my point.  There is so much of division already in the society by religion, country, colour, region and what not. Do we really need one more segregation? I am not trying to prove other view points are wrong either.  “ Gender Equality” as a phrase can draw more support for this cause than “Women Liberalization”. I think so. I can explain why with an example. A Blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said "I am blind; please help." There were a few coins in the hat only. A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign and turned it around and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone walked by would see the new words. Now; a lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were with the blind boy. The blind boy recognised his footsteps and asked "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?". The man said "I only wrote the truth". What he had written was "Today is a beautiful day and I can not see it.” Positivity is always more appealing and more powerful. Right now; we are not really fighting the social issue. Women and men are fighting each other. They are not the same thing really. A constructive appeal from women community can bring the world to stand still. I believe so, you know what I mean? It is appearing as a distance reality because we are fighting against a wrong cause, not the actual devil itself. 

An inappropriate example of Women liberalization is singer Miss Sona Mohapatra, from Bolllywood. She belongs to the same state as mine in India and I have got a huge respect for her singing skills. She has been in the news recently for publicly out-bursting mega star Salman Khan. Apparently; Salman Khan in an interview compared himself with a raped woman when quizzed about the gruelling “Sultan” shoot, drawing sharp reaction from all quarters. To which Sona Mohapatra took it to Twitter and said “Women thrashed, people run over, wild-life massacred & yet hero of the nation.'Unfair'.India full of such supporters”. To me it is personal attack on Salman Khan from Sona Mohapatra. She could have simply talked about the unfair comment from Salman Khan and looked as clean as others cine-stars whoever chose to comment on this matter. But her comment was more personalized, sounded judgemental and appeared some-what opportunistic.  That’s all Sona Mohapatra and Anupam Kher have been doing more recently. Picking up some insignificant issues and making them big enough for their own benefit.  Let me clarify this with a small story I received from my friend in social media. “A small boy parks his bicycle nearby the Parliament house and walks on...A police constable stops him and asks: Why did you park your bicycle here....don't you know about this road? Many MPs, sometimes Chief Ministers, even President and cabinet ministers and politicians pass from here...The boy replied innocently: Don't worry, I have locked my bicycle.” What do we gather from the story? That everyone has two eyes but no one has the same view as the other. Sometimes we say things because we don’t know what to say, we are less intelligent, or we do not know, what not to say. So should we be making it such a big issue, a national agenda almost? My God; imagine those 4000 crores scam involved with Chief Minister Madhu Koda of Chhattisgarh few years ago or even $30 billions involved with 2G/3G scams few years ago. Let’s raise our voices to those issues because those are genuinely national issues because it involved public money, money which belongs to India…ultimately by the people of India. There are so many rapes, killing happening almost regularly; we keep a dignified silence but when it is small unthoughtful statement from a big star; we all jump ahead to make a statement. Because; that provides us a platform to take off. That’s why I said; we must be honest in our approach – about what we are fighting and why we are fight. Goes without saying that statement from Salman Khan was inappropriate and he should have clarified/apologized by now, if not already.

I read somewhere in a magazine today that Type A (perfectionist) personalities are very likely to have heart attack or blood pressure etc. Those who are greedy are more likely to develop dietetics and those who are live under pressure are likely to develop stomach ulcer. Are these correct? Not sure. I am not a doctor. But I liked the bit where it read that; by us accepting our faults we can reverse these health issues; whether it is irritation or greediness or trying to be perfect all the time. Awareness is more important and it is the first step towards the recovery. I received a letter from one of my regular blog reader; suggesting that I should write more topics such world-economy, politics, finance etc as well. Fair enough; I have assured him that for next couple of weeks/months; I shall focus on such topics. So let’s catch up on few residual life-coaching matters, before we change the topic.  Shall we?

We went to a close friend’s house few months ago and during the course of our visit; we heard one of their family members was shouting at their servant very badly. Rishi was standing there stunned and watching it very seriously. I knew what was going on in his little mind – “It’s not fair” . I tried to divert his attention and got him into a room, got him to engage in his favourite IPhone application and I increased the volume to as high as possible, so that he can’t hear what’s going on outside. On our way back; I asked him if he had a good time. He said: “Yes but why the man was shouting at the other man so badly?”. I told him that the man was little upset but that does not mean that he is a bad person. Rishi said “Yes, I thought so…he is a nice person…he spoke to me so nicely few minutes before he started shouting at the poor man”. I said; nothing to worry because that happens sometimes. But Rishi was not done with all his reserved “Whys”. He further interrogated me: “Why do people get upset Papa?” . I said; “Our brain is composed of 900 different types of chemicals and a slender disproportion of any of these 900 types of chemicals, can cause us to behave indifferently, without our choice but naturally”. “Hmmm…that’s interesting but why does these chemicals disproportionate”; that was his next why. And “How do we fill these chemicals so that we don’t get upset unnecessarily”; he added further. “These chemicals are refilled automatically my son; we can’t fill them manually. These chemical can dry up like imagine a bottle of water you kept in our house and never refilled it with any fresh water. It’s natural for them to dry up. They get refilled when we eat more vegetables/fruit, drinks lots of water, tell truth, smile always, do yoga, do exercise, play football, study in time, eat in time, sleep In time, laugh always, help others and be kind to others.” Rishi smiled now; he said “That’s easy; Papa”. See; I told you…it takes very little. And we hugged each other with a hope to live happily thereafter. 

Today is my lucky day. I have been here in the UK for almost 9+ years now. Every year I tried at least couple of times to plant “Tulsi” Maiya at home but my attempts had failed every time, except for this time today. My mother says; it is good to set up Tulsi Maiya at the entrance of our home. A mere glance of Tulsi Maiya before leaving home can ensure; everything will go smoothly on that day. Same logic with the fish tank, same logic with Ganeshji’s status at the entrance of our home. I am not sure if those viewpoint are true or not; but we followed all these because of the insistence of our mother, since our childhood. Then we get habituated with those logics, after some time. To me; it feels good…feels like home…away from home.  Thank you Tulsi Maiya and hamari Maiya (India wali). Aur ek baat; when we were made to experience Tulsi Maiya or Fish tank or Ganeshji’s status at our home in our childhood; we were not really big fan of all these really. Kids generally don’t understand the concept, hence don’t like them. I am not sure when I developed fondness for these things back in my life. On the same token; when I do flowering of the deities at our London home; I never force Rishi to take part in it. He used to come sits there, asks few curious questions and goes away. He watched me doing Namaste in standing position and he started following me. Now-a-days; he does proper Pranam (reverential bowing position). Same with the food habits; there was a point when Rishi loved sausages only. Ask him what he wants to eat for breakfast, lunch or dinner. First things came out of his mind was: Sausage and mashed potato. Now-a-days; one really has to try hard to convince Rishi eat any non-vegetarian (meat/chicken/fish) dishes. He loves all those vegetarian dishes I eat on a daily basis. Kids only try to gather; whether their parents enjoy doing thing; what they are doing on a daily basis. If parents appear happy / content doing things; kids follow them unconditionally. I hope that’s how the concept of Tulsi maiya will be pass on the future generations in our family.  https://youtu.be/-EpeJLbrnRs

 

In the middle of the night; I felt as if someone was calling me by my name…I could feel the distinction…the divine smell…the reassuring voice and the rhythm of thousand damrus and a sense of purity in the air. I realized it was Mahadev. He called me by my name again. “Present, Mahadev” I said. Mahadev asked how it is going with me. I said; all fine Mahadev…I do everything that you have taught me, that is good for me and is good for the humanity. Mahadev was pleased. He said; well done my son and asked “What you want from me today?”. I said nothing…I have everything by the grace of you Mahadev. Mahadev insisted for me to ask something from him…at least one. You know already Mahadev what I want; I said. He smiled but insisted that I spell it out. I told him Mahadev; please bless me so that “Aaj ka Din Mere Jiban ke, Saab se Mahatwapurn Din Ho, Hamesha” …”Please bless me so that; today will always be the most important day of my life”. Mahadev smiled again…he said “That’s a difficult one…however I can grant you but you need to go through some test to prove you are capable and responsible to handle my grant with care”. Are you willing you take the test? Absolutely Mahadev…I am up for any test you script for me. Mahadev smiled again and asked… ”What if it takes a big chunk of your life to go through that test itself…and when you finally get my grant, you will not have time to enjoy it”. I shall complete the test still Mahadev; I said. I hope you will not withdraw; questioned Mahadev. My life is at your disposal Mahadev. What is your inspiration to do this my son; Mahadev questioned again. It is to experience the best of your creation; Mahadev…I answered. Mahadev smiled and disappeared. I woke up with the alarm bell ringing…only to realize I was dreaming…alas…it was a very sweet dream indeed. And my day has been rocking since then. Love you Mahadev. I am able to live, survive and sustain because of you and the hopes you planted in my little mind. https://youtu.be/xY57zpVIQNo

Tow? Tow - Tow Aab chahe Maa roothe; yaaaa Baba… .Tu hey Muddat se dil mein Samayi….Kaab kaha mene mehoon Parayi…Jaab tujhe mein dekha tu bhayee…ooo chandini ke tale…jab milethe gale…Aaab chahe saar phute yaa matha…mene tere bahein pakadli….Aaab chahein lag jaye haatkadiyaan…mene tere bahein pakadli….https://youtu.be/hjhQLGEQRhc  Good Night; Subh-Ratri-Sabah Khair.